I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
