I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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