absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
