Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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