Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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