Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
