Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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