I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
