she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
even my farts smell like vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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