are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
