YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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