she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize