god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Your dad touched me again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
