Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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