I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The adults are the big ones right?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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