I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Houston, we have a blender
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
