dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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