Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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