You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
