hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is the high leading the old right now
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
