Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
