carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
