so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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