is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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