dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
