just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
