There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
