We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
