I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
