Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
