i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
