I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it's like iHOP with fire
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
