His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
