I wish I could teleport
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize