They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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