if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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