i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
