Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
