Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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