Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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