Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize