he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
