did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
