But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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