hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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