Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
