Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize