just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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