Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
