One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
