Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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