So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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