Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
