respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
