suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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