I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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