two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No subtext here. People are naked.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
