What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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