Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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