Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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