He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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