i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
