Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Never joke about your clitoris.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
