Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
