hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
