No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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