My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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