I think I died a long time ago.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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