plz talk dirty to me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
